Two binmen pick up rubbish with metal implements in a park in Hackney, east London…
Tim I play this game, yeah? I think of the story behind everything I pick up.
Rory It’s just rubbish, mate.
Tim You should give it a try. Makes the job more interesting.
Rory What was this? A newspaper. What’s it now? A wet newspaper. Fantastic.
Tim You’re not even trying. What about this?
Rory Oh, I’ve not seen an empty packet of crisps before. Stunning.
Tim But they might have been eaten by a child who will be prime minister some day.
Rory Not exactly likely, though, is it?
Tim This one over here has definitely got a story.
Rory Mate, it’s a bloody tissue.
Tim Sure, but what do you think it was before
Rory Someone had a nosebleed. I’m not touching it.
Tim But if we were playing the game.
Rory We’re not playing the game.
Tim I’ll tell you what I see. I see a terrorist, yeah?
Rory Just sitting in the park?
Tim And having a break from terrorist things.
Rory And using a tissue?
Tim He wants to go straight. So he says to al-Qaida, ‘Listen, boys.’ He’s saying this in … that other language. ‘I don’t want to ruin society, after all.’ So one of the other terrorists comes and hits him in the face. Blood everywhere, but he’s got this tissue.
Rory What are you? Jeffrey bloody Archer?
Tim Don’t point your utensil at me.
Rory I don’t need to be acting out the life history of a tissue, yeah?
Tim A terrorist tissue. You see how it passes the time, though? You see that?
Rory You know what else passes the time. Doing work.
Tim Doing work. I won’t be stifled. Everything has its story.
Disease, famine, natural disasters and many other problems can not be prevented. We can predict and protect, but we can never prevent.
War is entirely made by man and only man can stop it.
The problem will solve itself. Once we’ve used all of our precious oil, gas and coal, we won’t have anything left to turn into dangerous chemicals. We’ll all be driving around in cars powered by water and recycling everything we use.
It just might be a few decades after we’ve destroyed the planet…